You were only eight years old when the police spoke to you outside their vehicle while I was in the backseat of another – crying for you while you were crying for me. All you knew was that your mommy was very sick because that’s what the police told you – but you know now that I was very drunk. In fact my blood alcohol content was very high (a .22%) but I will never forget how much I wanted to grab you up in my arms and make all of our pain go away.I just wanted you back. I wanted to go home with you and start all over. I wanted the moment to go away. I wanted my addiction to go away and I wanted the Mother’s Day card back that you were just showing me in the car – you remember, the one you made for me at school that afternoon. I didn’t even get to read it all.